Kill 'em with Kindness pt2

I'm a picky eater.

and

I don't like Japanese food*.

*Not ALL Japanese food, just like 50% of it.

Can you believeable? I know right, I live in Japan by choice and thus am limiting myself to the food I can eat. Wild, no?

Now before you bite my head off, I have tried pretty much everything I don't like and thus can say I don't like it.

I do not eat fish--except that time my mom tricked me into eating fish tricks under the false pretense that they were chicken fingers; I was like five...

I don't like the smell, I don't like the taste, I don't like the texture--all of it.

I DO LIKE SHRIMP, but only raw with cocktail sauce (the texture and flavor profile change) or grilled and slathered in a sauce (again, texture changed and flavor profile change).

Anything that comes from the sea--pretty much not consumed.

Lobster/Fish/Squid/Octopus/Clams/etc.

I like to believe that I am a mermaid who just chooses not to eat her friends. ;D

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So what does this have to do with kindness?

Well, in a country where having likes/dislikes is looked  down upon--this is how I, as a picky eater, have won over the people who matter most, and my tip to anyone who thinks they might have a problem living anywhere especially Japan that could make the process a bit easier.

I am a fairly kind person, and not the fake 'temae,' kindness that involves a horrid sense of resentment behind it all. 

I have learned how beneficial it is to be kind, rude people are not tolerated, but for the most part I am a very kind person to most people. For this reason, the people who matter the most--my co-workers, have come to really like me and can actually playfully tease me about my like/dislike (i.e. picky) habits.

I know that I can't be reborn into a Japanese person, but I can for damn sure try to do more than what is expected of me as a foreigner.

Gender roles in Japan: a topic I am so enthralled with and could talk like on and on passionately about the subject. 

I am not claiming that Japan is wrong, in ANY WAY, in fact, good job Japan on keeping it real and everyone realizing that there will always be a 'their place' no matter what society likes to pretend to spew. 

Living in the countryside, women are still expected to pour tea and serve to their higher ups who--are male. I know how to properly pour tea to the point where my Tea Ceremony Certified school secretary praised me with earnestly and always looked forward to the tea I poured. So I have learned that there are times when tea needs to be poured, I should offer tea to my higher ups BEFORE they ask and be sure to help with washing the dishes whenever possible. Same goes with drinking parties, I am the youngest female in the group and I should be the one to serve plates to the older males first, make sure the sake is poured when glasses seem empty, and be on top of things (usually in smaller venues, as opposed to bigger ones people tend to walk around more). I have taken my role with such pride that I really enjoy doing it.

My school has teachers eating with children during lunch. But I don't eat school lunch. I tried for the first couple of months, but due to the small amount of food I can eat at once, I was ever only able to eat rice and soup and maybe vegetables. Fish day was depressing and natto day almost made me throw up by the AMOUNT of smell (I have tried it and almost threw up with like 3 beans). Needless to say, I ended up going to the hospital needing an IV because I was to malnourished and dehydrated. From that day I am allowed to bring my own 'bento' and eat in the staff room. I really enjoy these times to unwind and just enjoy some me time. I really want to get good at making these bentos but, my cooking skill can only go so far as my ingredients, which are lacking in this small town. 

As you can see, my bentos are far from the typical ones you see accomplished mothers making:

I really enjoy cooking so thankfully I have the benefit of actually making my lunch and enjoying it. One of the teachers I work with periodically asks what I am eating, and she always gives me leftover rice balls! One of the other school principals always teases me to eat Japanese food and has claimed that this is our ongoing joke forever but she has never been rude.

My boyfriend is an absolute gift from above. He is one of the few Japanese people I have met, who shares me distaste for fish and most Japanese food!!! The only fish he has ever claimed to honestly liking is some fish drenched in miso paste--but then it only really tastes like miso. We never go out to eat sushi, and his family has also accepted my eating habits joking that he has finally met his match! What could two young people possibly eat on dates and get-togethers in a little Japanese town you ask? Well, I am lucky to have a McDonalds near by and I can cook. Although for us, pretty much any kind of meat goes--so usually that's the basis. And with both of us driving, it makes traveling for our food a common date destination.

I don't hate ALL Japanese food, I love udon and yakisoba and ramen as well as anything with pork, or chicken, or meat! (As long as it's not cold, can't handle cold food.) So to be honest there is a lot of Japanese food I CAN eat, and going to any eating establishment means there will no doubt be something for me to eat. But as for the typical Japanese stable foods--sushi, sashimi, most tempura, most cooked veggies or pickles ones--just doesn't happen for me...

I'm also really bad at spicy food, so Indian Curry Places and Korean food are usually not much of an option--though yakinuki all day long. ;D

I am very sad to not be able to eat more food and am thus forced to cook it myself, to which some people say it should turn out better--but in my tiny ass kitchen...I'm not so happy to be forced to tiny spaces. But once I move into a bigger apartment, and I have my lovely sous chef to help me out with things my tiny frail arms can't always accomplish--I will most likely start posting recipes on here too!

Never fear if you are picky like me, we are not living in the stone age, and people understand that everyone won't like everything. Be kind in the way you present your argument as to why, but don't be afraid to try something first to properly say WHY you don't like it.

So as always, kindness is key. <3

Kill 'em with Kindness pt1

I was called a bitch for most of my life.

Wow, I feel a lot better that I said that. 

Despite that...On Twitter I have come to have a reputation for being this super kind person. To be honest, I don't understand it. (o_O)

I've been doing things on the internet for a very long time. For those people who play computer FPS's do you know Red Faction? 

Credit; Voilition, Inc. & Wikipedia

It's similar to the Call of Duty of today, sans the real looking characters, complicated controls, and ten year old little boys who talk smack about 'your mom' or 'being gay'. 

I played back in middle school, a time when nobody believed I was a girl on the internet. Literally, nobody believed me and I enjoyed it that way. It was my own little world that I was good at. 
I also used to make YouTube videos doing goth make-up. I even got quite a few views on one of them--these days I wonder what would've happened if I had kept at it, but as YouTube got more popular and ads started happening, everything changed and I couldn't make those fancy edited videos people were making. Even to this day I really can't find the time or money to dedicate to so much editing. I really wish I enjoyed it enough but with my non-Mac computer and need to sleep at least eight hours a day--time will always be my weakness. 

Don't get me wrong, I think people who dedicate so much to it are really great, admirable and everything--but I simply wouldn't have the discipline for it. 

Anyway, I talk about this, because I have seen how people are on the internet for over ten years--and while that doesn't seem like much for my age, I've seen how people have acted on the internet all this time...

At first, putting yourself out there on YouTube wasn't a big deal--you didn't feel pressured about making the next biggest thing, most people who viewed made a comment, about 80% of the feedback was good, and well, ads weren't something people HAD to do (and then feel bad about doing). 

My mom always told me never to say mean things, not that her sailor mouth was kept shut, but just don't say hurtful things that will get back to you--and as I have learned over the years--yes, it will get back to you, no matter how secret you thought it was. 
On the internet I didn't ever say anything mean, just because I didn't see the point. 
Why should someone I don't know, get hated on for something that it's not their fault.

I'm going to say something mean.
Most stupid people--don't know they're stupid, so essentially it's not their fault, they can't help it, so there's no point wasting your energy.
The opposite is true for mean people, they are mean, rude and knowingly do it--but I refuse to publicly give into your meanness and so--I won't.

In middle school and high school, I realized that my tiny, tiny size (150cm, a little less than 5ft) Could result in being picked on. So I instead made sure that I was blatantly honest with people about how I felt, and I tended to kick people in the shin who made fun of me. I thought honestly was necessary, and even though I was putting people's feelings at risk, I liked to say things like it is, because it's better than lying. I really stink at lying, like honestly, I am no good at lying to anyone--especially my mom...

For these reasons, I have been able to apply being a nice person to my internet Me for a while now. To be honest, I never really thought people would reply and see that I am honestly complimenting them. I just do it with the hopes that when other people need it they will say the same for them. 

I love when people comment back, and tell me nice things, though I'm really terrible at taking compliments. So sometimes I don't start the back and forth because I realize that it's going to never end because I won't let them win and give me the final compliment.

I have come to love the internet for how much it has connected people. I have an instagram for people who enjoy pictures and for me who loves to show them. Yes I'm probably a narcissist, but I'm totally ok with that. I don't have a huge number of followers, but damn I feel good about the 150 I have at the moment. I have a twitter for saying random things that are short enough to fit into a micro blog, and can talk with people that I would have no other way of having gotten to know. My twitter friends are actual friends to me, whether they share the sentiment or not I wouldn't mind either way. I will compliment, and worry, and give uplifting words when they need them. I have a tumblr, well, I really only have it to find cute pictures on the internet, I'm not the biggest fan of what it has turned into these days, and my phone doesn't handle too many gifs very well so I don't really check it often enough...but, it's there.

I really just hope people stop being mean. The internet is a horrid place, and even despite my kindness, there have been times when it back fires...a shame really. I can't seem to understand why people feel the need to complain, on the internet, about things that have no affect on you. No offence, but as a woman, all we do is complain, and I totally understand that--but usually it's about things that directly affect us. But for those people, who randomly complain about things that now and will probably never have anything to do with them--what's the point of looking like a bitch on the internet? 

I was called a bitch for kicking people in the shins and blatant honestly, it's a title I wore proudly because I was aware of what and why I did things. But why look like a jerk online, to a group of people or how they do things... Sorry, had to rant a bit.

My main point is this;
Spread kindness and it will be the best infection.